Power

Do you ever suddenly realize that you have power? I don't mean world domination power, but the kind of power that might let you control or bend a situation to your will. Hmmm.

I had that realization and I hate to admit it was because of a boy. When I say boy I mean a man who is younger than me, quite a bit younger than me and I can't decide if that troubles me or not. Just the fact that I mentioned it probably means it troubles me, does that mean I'm an ageist?

Anyway...he piques my interest. It slowly dawned on me yesterday that if I wanted to I could make this situation work for me. Hmmmm.

Now don't mistake me, I'm certainly no femme fatale and never have been. Generally, I don't have a lot of luck in the romance department, so this sudden revelation was a bit shocking. Maybe, it is true what they say, as you get older you don't care so much what others think which ends up being quite liberating. Thus, giving me the ability to make this boy swoon.

I think for the time being I will only use my powers for good, and will simply see how the situation develops organically.

Mostly. Maybe the odd tweak here and there.

Wow, one whole entry!

So here it is, finally... my first official post. I promised myself that I would start writing this blog to get some writing practice in, so far it isn't working so well. I think the main problem is I have nothing to say these days. Knowing that I need to hone my writing skills just seems to put more pressure on things, or at least make me more aware of the vacant hole that is my imagination these days. I don't know if it is summer, or just writer's block but I'm having trouble getting anything on paper (or cyberspace).

I'm much more focused on planning out my time off, camping, weddings, a trip to Europe, my winter vacation. Anything that seems to draw me away from anything even slightly intelligent - which is probably why I seem to be addicted to crappy reality tv these days.

As for the writing front I have several ideas floating around in my brain, which also means I have little pieces of paper all over my office with blurbs and thoughts that hope one day to grow up into full working sentences. I've also been thinking about trying my hand at some free form writing, no punctuation, capitalization or grammar of any sort. I think I might be really good at that since I am the queen of run on sentences. Either that or I am pithy beyond belief. I'd also like to think that the free form exercise might release me from this block I seem to be having. I have my writer's group in two weeks and I have to have something down on paper to share. It has been at least three meetings now where I have shown up with nothing. Something is holding me back, the trick will be to find out what that something is.

Maybe I need a mantra - be productive, be productive, be productive. Nope, that doesn't work either.

Later.